Look at Your Manuscript with an Editor’s Lens

By Teresa LeYung Ryan

Writing Career Coach; Manuscript Consultant; Author

Since writing a story with the intent to engage the reader is so much like meeting a stranger and wanting him/her to be interested in you, you’d want to hook the reader’s attention in the first quarter of your story (starting with the first page, oftentimes with the first line).

I love working with diligent writers who want to transform their manuscripts into page-turners. However, there are things you can do before you give your work to an editor. Let me show you how you can help yourself.

The big four elements to look for in your manuscript:

• Planting hook(s) or story-question(s);
• Grounding the reader with the three Ws (Who? When? Where?);
• Showing (not telling) what the protagonist wants;
• Paying attention to language and rules

Let’s learn from the pros.

Planting Hook or Story-Question:

In The Woman Warrior: Memoirs of a Girlhood Among Ghosts, Maxine Hong Kingston hooks us with the first line: “You must not tell anyone,” my mother said, “what I am about to tell you…” Then, Ms. Kingston transitions into her story with: “Whenever she had to warn us about life, my mother told stories that ran like this one . . .”

Grounding the Reader with the Three Ws:

In Woven of Water, while the story timeline spans from 1957 to 2005, Californian author Luisa Adams brilliantly shows us who she was as a girl (not with a year-by-year narrative, but with a single exquisite chapter). Because she grounded us with “who, when, where,” we eagerly follow as she (the middle-aged woman) takes us into her enchanted world of a “cottage in the forest.”

Showing What the Protagonist Wants:

In The Other Mother, young Carol Schaefer wants to ask questions: “Was there any way to keep my baby? Was there anyone who would help me find a way to do that?”

Elizabeth Gilbert hooks us with “I wish Giovanni would kiss me…” in her memoir Eat, Pray, Love. Simple as that.  She’ll have other desires as her story moves forward, but, right there on page 1, she’s clear about what she wants.

In Love Made of Heart, protagonist Ruby Lin is thinking: What have I done?  I watch the uniformed police officers escort my mother from my apartment.

Paying Attention to Language and Rules:

Read the first five pages of Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt and you will see how this wordsmith plays with language and rules. (You can “bend” the rules to create flow, but you must not ignore the rules.)

Are you saying: “Coach Teresa, that’s my style–I don’t like to use commas all that much. You might see typos but that’s your job right to correct them? I write like I talk. Okay.”

I say: “Read your manuscript out loud.  Do you really talk like that?  If you hear yourself pausing in a sentence, that’s probably where you’d put a comma. You are a writer; use correct spelling.  Do use vernacular that is indicative of your story-world; however, will your reader hear the differences in speech patterns in your characters OR will they hear just one voice in all the characters?”

Sentences Deserve Your Attention:

Remember Groucho Marx’s line “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas…”? That sentence got a lot of laughs. But, what if you didn’t want to be funny (ambiguous in this case)? Watch out for those misplaced modifiers.

How would you rewrite these poorly constructed sentences?

• He likes to fish near the Farallon Islands and they jump when they’re hungry at dawn or dusk.
• She insists on knowing when I come home and leave, not to be nosy, but for safety reasons.
• Being cautious as not to step on the dog’s tail, the children tip-toed away from him while sleeping.
• My husband still in bed snoring, I have always enjoyed rising before dawn and I eat my toast and drink my green tea on the terrace.

To improve your sentence structuring and other skills, I recommend these books:

• The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White
• Woe is I: Grammarphobe’s Guide to Better English in Plain English by Patricia T. O’Conner

More Advice:

• In all the stories referenced above, the authors present memorable experiences by employing authentic details, unusual story-worlds, and poetic language. You want to do the same for your story.
• Also, the stories have another vital component–all the plotlines have what Martha Alderson, author of Blockbuster Plots, Pure and Simple, calls “Cause and Effect” linked scenes. Another must-read blog: Plot Whisperer
• When you’re writing non-fiction and do not have the luxury of rearranging the sequence of events to create a page-turning plotline, you can engage the reader by using concise expositions to leap over blocks of time in order to focus on the core themes and fast-forward the story. A helpful website: Linda Joy Myer’s http://www.memoriesandmemoirs.com
• You the author must show the reader what the protagonist wants, even if the protagonist doesn’t know at first.
• We don’t have to “like” a protagonist, but, we do need to connect with him/her on an emotional level.
• Read my colleague Vicki Weiland’s “Vicki’s Four Questions” © on her blog: http://vickiweiland.wordpress.com/vickis-four-questions-%C2%A9/

In the fiercely competitive arena of the publishing world, how does one stand out in a crowd? Building relationships is one key to success in this business. Another key is to know how to translate the themes from your life to your writing and articulate those themes as community concerns. I want to see all hardworking writers realize their dreams.

My best wishes to you!

Sincerely,

Teresa LeYung Ryan

Coach Teresa edits manuscripts for authors who want to attract agents  & publishers  OR  want to be their own publishers. She specializes in contemporary novels, thrillers, children’s & YA novels, memoirs, short stories, and anthologies.

22-Day Platform-Building Coach Teresa LeYung Ryan helps authors identify their themes to hook agents' and publishers' attention.

author of Love Made of  Heart

author of Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days

Thanks to Teresa’s book I learned to contact a star. The famous Carol Channing wrote a review for my latest book YOU and THE ARTS–Why Art Matters. Teresa’s book is a wonderful help in learing how to get good publicity.

* * * * * * * * * *

This book taught me a lot. It’s packed with information, and the presentations and exercises build upon what came before. It’s direct and clear and has plenty of instructive examples that plainly show the way, and how to get there. It’s like having your very own writing career coach with you at every step. This extremely helpful workbook has given me great preparation for building a platform. I enthusiastically recommend it.

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This book is written as a set of specific tasks. And I think that is what is so great about it. The author doesn’t spend 200 pages waffling and trying to convince you of something you’re already dying to do, but just don’t know how to execute. All you have to do is follow the directions. No analyzing too many options, no trying to out-think the huge behemoth that is publishing industry. It’s like having a friend take you by the hand, set you down on the right path, and then walk right along side you. The added benefit is that on the way, you’ll find out some pretty interesting things about yourself and what your platform (so essential these days for getting published) is really all about.

For me, having clear cut steps and directions is invaluable when it comes figuring out what I really want to communicate to potential readers and how to get my platform established.

I know. I’m a writer, newly finished my first work (okay, here I’m going to plug it) “Over the Edge,” a fictionalized memoir, told in nine episodes, which tells what it’s really like to live, run, and be a part of the street life.

Kudos and Thanks, Teresa

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Much has been written in the past year or two about the importance to writers of having a “platform.” Writers without a platform, we are told, find it difficult if not impossible to be taken seriously by agents and publishers. This ambitious book takes a new approach to building a platform. Instead of the usual pep talks, it consists of a series of exercises–22 minutes for 22 days– to build the reader’s self-knowledge and skill. The exercises are often thought-provoking, and always fun. For all writers who find themselves “stuck” when it comes to building a platform, this is a most worthwhile tool.
Margaret Davis, author of Straight Down the Middle

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Although I had already published my novel, “Husbands May Come and Go but Friends are Forever,” and set up my website when I purchased this playbook, I found lots of information and tips I hadn’t known. I especially liked the exercises which helped me identify where to spend my time and energy. A great road map to building your writer platform.

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Ms. Ryan gives us a huge building block toward getting our gems into print. I tried her original draft of this book, doing the exercises, and being amazed how much i could put into a platform. Now she has expanded this workbook richly. She is a whiz in the ways a writer can get noticed.
in all the confusing technology around these days, this book takes a novice carefully through the process to this end.

It is quite a bargain at $22.

Lynn Scott, Memorist,  A Joyous Encounter: My Mother, My Alzheimer Clients, and Me

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Is There a Book to Help Writers Build Platform and Fanbase?

Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW available through Amazon

Sincerely,

22-Day Coach Teresa LeYung Ryan
http://writingcoachteresa.com

Thursday, Feb. 17th, 2011, 6 to 9 pm- $149
Presented by Literary Agent Katharine Sands, author of Making the Perfect Pitch. Learn how to effectively pitch your project to the agents and editors at the SFWC…or anywhere!  http://www.sfwriters.org/pages.cfm?ID=206

Friday February 18, 2011 While Talking Tagline Mentor Elisa Southard author of  Break Through the Noise, 9 Tools to Propel Your Marketing Message & I (Writing Career Coach Teresa LeYung Ryan author of Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW) will be presenting “Get a Grip: Be Your Own Best Promoter” at the exciting San Francisco Writers Conference . . .

February 18, 2011, 11:00am PST / noon Mountain Time Author Judith Marshall (Judith & I were in a critique group with Lynn Scott and Marcia Naomi Berger!)  will be interviewed on BlogTalkRadio show Page Readers.  If you miss the live broadcast on Feb. 18th, you can listen to Judith Marshall (she’s delightful!) when the show is archived.  Go, Girlfriend Judith!!!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/show.aspx?userurl=page-readers&year=2011&month=02&day=18&url=judith-marshall-on-page-readers

Judith Marshall is a third generation native Californian, born in St. Helena and raised in Concord. After leaving a successful career as a human resources executive, her lifelong dream of writing fiction was realized with the completion of Husbands May Come and Go But Friends Are Forever, winner of the Jack London Prize awarded by the California Writers Club and recently optioned for the big screen. She is an active member of the California Writers Club and a regular participant in writing classes and workshops. She continues to hone her craft and is currently working on her second novel, Staying Afloat, the story of a devoted stay-at-home wife and mother who morphs into a sex-starved adulteress. She lives in Northern California with her husband. For more information, go to www.judithmarshall.net

MONDAY, February 21, 2011  FULL-DAY AND HALF-DAY WRITING INTENSIVES

Sponsored by San Francisco Writers University and the San Francisco Writers Conference  http://www.sfwriters.org/pages.cfm?ID=206

These classes will be held at the Mark Hopkins InterContinental Hotel on Nob Hill in San Francisco.

Each of these intensive workshops takes one subject and breaks it down
into parts to give attendees a deep understanding of the topic. Each
workshop is taught by an expert on the subject who is also a good
teacher.

Full Day Classes (9 am to noon, break for no-host lunch, 2 -5 pm) — $297 for either class

1. Social Media for Authors with social media gurus Tee Morris and Linda Lee
By the end of this nuts and bolts workshop, authors will know how to effectively use Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and Linked-In, how to create a website and blog and how to podcast your writing. And you’ll also know how to select which of these tools is right for you. A must have for writers in today’s online world.

2. Self-Publishing Boot Camp with Carla King, Alan Rinzler, Joel Friedlander, Mark Coker, Tammy Nam, Alexis Masters, Karen Leland and many more
Listen up, soldiers! Today is the best time ever to be a writer. With eBooks and self-publishing options never before available to get your book in front of a reading audience, you need to understand the whys, whats and hows of self-publishing. Taught by the creator of the Self-Publishing Bootcamp and a whole host of experts in every aspect of self-publishing. Go to Carla King’s Self-Publishing Boot Camp web site.

Morning Half-Day Classes (9 am to noon) –$149 for each class

1. Micro-Tension: The Secret of the Best Sellers with Superstar Literary Agent Donald Maass
This workshop has been given to rave reviews throughout North America by the man who wrote the book (and workbook) on writing the novel that will break you out of the pack. In the course of two decades Mr. Maass has arrived at a number of definite and highly perceptive conclusions on just what the differences are between an ordinary, pedestrian but enjoyable novel and an ostensibly similar work that catapults the book and its author into an entirely new plane of literary success.

2. Writing Fantasy, Science Fiction and Horror
With best selling author Katharine Kerr, editor/assoc. publisher Gabrielle Harbowy and rising star fantasy author Philippa Ballantine

3. Writing Romance and Women’s Fiction
With literary agent Christine Witthohn and romance author Elizabeth Jennings

4. Writing Mysteries, Suspense and Thrillers
With NYT best-selling mystery and thriller authors Bob Dugoni and Sheldon Siegel

Afternoon Half-Day Classes (2 pm to 5 pm)–$149 each

1. How to Write a Book Proposal (non-fiction)
With the man who wrote How to Write a Book Proposal. literary agent Michael Larsen and Consulting Editor Alan Rinzler

2. Making Your Memoir Bigger Than The Story of Your Life
With writing teacher and memoirist Adair Lara, author of Naked, Drunk and Writing: Shed Your Inhibitions and Craft a Compelling Memoir or Personal Essay

3. How To Make Money in the Hot Young Adult Market
With author Doug Rees and Annette Pollert from Simon and Schuster

Day 11 of 22 – Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days

Cheers from Coach Teresa LeYung Ryan

Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW

http://writingcoachteresa.com

Coach Teresa’s YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/teresaleyung

Plot Coach and Author Martha Alderson asked me to blog about building a platform/promoting novels.

Read blog comment

Martha, thank you for posting this subject. Promoting a novel or memoir is a major challenge because unless you are already a best-selling author or your publisher has committed a six-figure marketing budget for your book, how do you give your book the attention it deserves?

I remember how excited I was when my mother-daughter novel Love Made of Heart was released by New York publisher Kensington. Although I landed readings/signings at bookstores (through friends’ and colleagues’ help), I soon received this response from media folks: “We can’t interview/invite you. Not interested in novels…”

Then, Elisa Southard (non-fiction author and PR coach) came along. She said: “YOU are bigger than your book. What are the ‘issues’ in your novel?”

Then, Anny Cleven (Area Marketing Director at Borders Books) reminded me that I was shedding light on ‘mental illness’ and ‘domestic violence’ in the Asian-American community.

Kim McMillon, friend and colleague, pitched me to be a guest on KPIX “Bay Sunday” when she saw that I was ready to speak out on the issues. I became Teresa LeYung Ryan who advocates compassion for mental illness and the author who helps survivors of family violence find their own voices.

Now that I’m a career coach for writers, I encourage all my clients to build their platforms by articulating the themes in their stories as community/national/global concerns.

So, after you have used the tools from Blockbuster Plots to structure your story and you have the first draft of your project, look for the issues or self-help elements to weave what Martha Alderson calls “thematic significance.”

Writers who have spent years working on their books (fiction or non-fiction) deserve recognition for their dedication. I want to see all diligent writers shed light on “the issues” and thus speak out for those who cannot speak for themselves.

Happy Writing!

Teresa LeYung Ryan

author of Love Made of Heart

www.LoveMadeOfHeart.com

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Nina Amir of Write Non-Fiction in November asked me to blog about “How to Make Your Manuscript Compelling” and so I wrote “How to Look at Your Manuscript with an Editor’s Lens”

How to Look at Your Manuscript with an Editor’s Lens

By Teresa LeYung Ryan

Manuscript Consultant and Career Coach

Author

Since writing a story with the intent to engage the reader is so much like meeting a stranger and wanting him/her to be interested in you, I will focus on how to make the first quarter of your story a compelling read.

I love working with diligent writers who want to transform their manuscripts into page-turners. However, there are things you can do before you give your work to an editor. Let me show you how you can help yourself.

As an editor, the four biggest mistakes I encounter are manuscripts that are weak in these elements:

• Planting hook(s) or story-question(s);
• Grounding the reader with the three Ws (Who? When? Where?);
• Showing (not telling) what the protagonist wants;
• Paying attention to language and rules

Let’s learn from the pros.

Planting Hook or Story-Question:

In The Woman Warrior: Memoirs of a Girlhood Among Ghosts, Maxine Hong Kingston hooks us with the first line: “You must not tell anyone,” my mother said, “what I am about to tell you…” Then, Ms. Kingston transitions into her story with: “Whenever she had to warn us about life, my mother told stories that ran like this one . . .”

Grounding the Reader with the Three Ws:

In Woven of Water, while the story timeline spans from 1957 to 2005, Californian author Luisa Adams brilliantly shows us who she was as a girl (not with a year-by-year narrative, but with a single exquisite chapter). Because she grounded us with “who, when, where,” we eagerly follow as she takes us into her enchanted world of a “cottage in the forest.”

Showing What the Protagonist Wants:

In The Other Mother, young Carol Schaefer wants to ask questions: “Was there any way to keep my baby? Was there anyone who would help me find a way to do that?”

Paying Attention to Language and Rules:

Read the first five pages of Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt and you will see how this wordsmith plays with language and rules. (You can “bend” the rules to create flow, but you must not ignore them.)

Sentences Deserve Your Attention:

Nina Amir’s post on her blog http://writenonfictioninnovember.wordpress.com/2007/11/ is a must-read.

Remember Groucho Marx’s line “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas…”? That sentence got a lot of laughs. But, what if you didn’t want to be funny (ambiguous in this case)?

How would you rewrite these poorly constructed sentences?

• He likes to fish near the Farallon Islands and they jump when they’re hungry at dawn or dusk.
• She insists on knowing when I come home and leave, not to be nosy, but for safety reasons.
• Being cautious as not to step on the dog’s tail, the children tip-toed away from him while sleeping.
• My husband still in bed snoring, I have always enjoyed rising before dawn and I eat my toast and drink my green tea on the terrace.

To improve your sentence structure and other skills, I recommend these books:

• The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White
• Woe is I: Grammarphobe’s Guide to Better English in Plain English by Patricia T. O’Conner

More Advice:

• In all four stories (The Woman Warrior, Woven of Water, The Other Mother, Angela’s Ashes), the authors present memorable experiences by employing authentic details, unusual story-worlds though real, and poetic language. You want to do the same for your story.
• Also, these stories have another vital component-all four plotlines have what Martha Alderson, author of Blockbuster Plots, Pure and Simple, calls “Cause and Effect” linked scenes. Another must-read blog: Plot Whisperer
• When you’re writing non-fiction and do not have the luxury of rearranging the sequence of events to create a page-turning plotline, you can engage the reader by using concise expositions to leap over blocks of time in order to focus on the core themes and fast-forward the story. A helpful website: http://www.memoriesandmemoirs.com
• You the author must show the reader what the protagonist wants, even if the protagonist doesn’t know at first.
• We don’t have to “like” a protagonist, but, we do need to connect with him/her on an emotional level.

In the fiercely competitive arena of the publishing world, how does one stand out in a crowd? Building relationships is one key to success in this business. Another key is to know how to translate the themes from your life to your writing and articulate those themes as community concerns. I want to see all hardworking writers realize their dreams.

My best wishes to you!

Teresa LeYung Ryan

www.LoveMadeOfHeart.com

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