Posts Tagged ‘writers’

Dear Writers/Caregivers/Advocates for Loved Ones,

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan here . . .  I see how helping a loved one/being an advocate is so much like writing a book.

My papa has been diagnosed with Parkinsonism by his neurologist. If Papa is telling his story, he would be the first-person narrator; if I’m telling the story about him, then I would be the third-person narrator.

A book (story) consists of one main character (also known as “hero” or “protagonist”) or multiple main characters and other characters (other archetypes), a subject matter that is discussed repeatedly (“theme”) and at least one plotline (“what happened?”). The merging of these elements helps the writer show the hero’s journey.

Helping a loved one/being an advocate consists of at least 2 protagonists (YOU and the loved one) and other archetypes (physicians, healthcare and social service providers, other family members and friends, neighbors, coworkers, vendors, . . . the stranger who gives up her/his seat on the train for you), themes (the cause for help and advocacy and the related issues), and plotlines (the interconnected events associated with all the characters).  Who will be the most transformed in the story?  The loved one?  You the caregiver/advocate? The person who is most transformed would be the main character/hero/protagonist.  Perhaps both people will go through great transformation.  Two protagonists!

I am writing – I keep a notebook for whenever I visit my papa or when I do something on his behalf- gosh, there are so many little “subplots” to keep track of! (Is this Papa’s third or last session with the physical therapist? Mary and I need to witness the exercises so that when the P.T. closes the case, we would be able to coach Papa. Did he say he wanted another heating pad? Oh my, there are at least 18 model to choose from.   Gotta review friends’ advice about what is a comfortable bed and also Consumer Reports. Then Papa has to “test drive” some beds. You just can’t shop for a mattress the way you shop for a pair of shoes.

MATTRESS SHOPPING TIPS (from Sealy’s website)

  1. Plan to spend at least one hour in the store.
  2. Wear loose clothing and easily removable shoes.
  3. Test out mattresses in groups of three for easier comparison.
  4. Lie on each mattress for 5 to 15 minutes to let it fully adapt to your body.
  5. Don’t feel rushed. It’s ok to ask for privacy.

I would add:  Bring your own pillow so that your neck is supported while trying out mattresses; maybe bring an extra pillow case too.

And, I am reading the book The Brain’s Way of Healing: Remarkable Discoveries and Recoveries from the Frontiers of Neuroplasticity by Norman Doidge, M.D.  Chapter 2 is titled “A Man Walks Off His Parkinsonian Symptoms”  . . . how John Pepper has been able to reverse the major symptoms, the ones that Parkinson’s patients dread most, those that lead to immobility. He’s done so with an exercise program he devised and with a special kind of concentration . . .

All the “characters” in Dr. Doidge’s books (The Brain’s Way of Healing  and The Brain that Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science) and in Dr. Victoria Sweet‘s book (God’s Hotel: A Doctor, a Hospital, and a Pilgrimage to the Heart of Medicine) are guiding me on my journey as an advocate for my father.  And, I just know that my mom plays a huge role in helping me.

I thank everyone who has given me her/his time, energy, and prayers.

Here are links to websites I’ve relied on lately:

https://franceskakugawa.wordpress.com/category/caregiving/  Frances Kakugawa

http://www.writeradvice.com/ywmtdw.html  B. Lynn Goodwin

http://www.normandoidge.com/  Norman Doidge, M.D.

https://www.michaeljfox.org/  Michael J. Fox Foundation

Special thanks to Margie Yee Webb, Frances Kakugawa, Penny Manson, Debbie Ramos and her daughter Melanie who went out of their way to help me research specific items and to Mary, my sister Maria Leung, Linda Harris, Sue, Janet, and Elaine for being there in person.

Sincerely,

Writing Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author & Fanbase-Building Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan says: “Reach out, not stress out. Enjoy your writer’s journey.”
http://WritingCoachTeresa.com

http://lovemadeofheart.com/

http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/

https://www.youtube.com/user/teresaleyung

 

 

 

 

 

Writing Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan here . . . to give writers an analogy for  “flashbacks” and how to show them with ease. This blog post is inspired by a lovely author from my “For Theme’s Sake” class who has a remarkable story.

First, the definition of “flashback” for story-tellers:

  • interruption of chronological sequence by interjection of events of earlier occurrence

Even though a golden rule  in story-telling is to avoid using flashbacks, sometimes the majority of the story is presented through one flowing flashback.

Here’s the analogy:

I’m composing a letter to a dear friend  who has asked me: “Tell me what all has happened to you since I last saw you seven years ago?”

I think back to seven years ago. My letter = one big flashback. To create story-flow, I shall tell my friend what has been happening in chronological order.

Perhaps I have been battling illness the past seven years, seeking various modalities for relief, and building new relationships. I’ll tell her about major events (plot points) from 2009, then 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014. I shall end the letter with what’s happening this year 2015.

[ As Plot Whisperer Martha Alderson reminds us . . . “Without cause and effect there is no plot. Without cause and effect, events are simply episodic happenings.”]

In my letter, I would be summarizing my journey  chronologically. To tell the story out of chronology would definitely confuse my friend.  I could skip over years if there were no major plot points, however, still keeping chronology – for example: I could write (relating to 2010, 2011, 2012) “For the next 3 years I kept my routine.”

In writing a book, I would be writing “scenes” chronologically, using summary to skip over time. Summary is not a substitute for a scene.

If I tell/show my flashbacks out of sequence . . . I would be “interrupting” myself and confusing the reader which would result in losing reader’s attention.

Here’s an aid to show flashbacks in sequence and with ease . . . print a calendar or calendars that correspond to the timeline of your story. In my above analogy of writing a letter to tell my friend what happened to me . . .  if my illness began in March 2009, I would begin with March 2009 and tell my adventure in chronology (not jumping back and forth in time).

 

If I were talking to my friend in person . . . and if I start to get mixed up regarding sequence of events . . . my friend would be able to say to me: “I’m confused.”  In writing a book, if I tell events out of sequence, the reader would not have the benefit of asking me for clarification; most likely the confused reader would put down my book.

The other major reason for showing flashbacks in sequence is to show character growth and consequences. In my above analogy . . . my reaction, decisions, action in March influence my reaction, decision, action in April . . . a calendar moves forward, not back and forth.

If my story timeline is one week . . . my reaction, decisions, action on Monday influence my reaction, decision, action on Tuesday  . . . calendar moves forward, not back and forth.

Two movies where the majority of the story is shown in one flowing flashback are Kitty Foyle (Ginger Rogers portrays protagonist) and Flawless (Demi Moore portrays protagonist) – in both stories, the beginning scene and the last scene are shown in current time; the body of the story (what happened?) is shown in one continuous flashback.

Happy Writing and Rewriting!

Sincerely,

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan

 

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan  teaches writers how to transform their email signature-blocks, photos, videos, social media, website/blog descriptions into platform statements . . . to attract target audience/readers/fans . . . before and after publication.  http://WritingCoachTeresa.com and  https://www.youtube.com/user/teresaleyung

*

She is the creator of:

  • classes, including:
    • *For Theme’s Sake: Edit Your Own Manuscript Before Pitching to Agents or Self-Publishing
    • *Heroes, Tricksters, and Villains – What Do These Archetypes Want in Your Story World?
  • *
  • Immigrant Experience Writing Contest
  • *
  • interactive presentations, including:
    • *Help Your Fans Find YOU
    • *Build & Retrofit Your Writer’s Platform

*

the author of:

  • Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW (workbook);
  • *
  • Love Made of Heart: a Daughter, a Mother, a Journey Through Mental Illness (novel used in college classes and archived at the San Francisco History Center);
  • *
  • “Talking to My Dead Mom Monologues” (the first monologue received an award from Redwood 10-Minute Play Contest and was staged at the 6th Street Playhouse in Santa Rosa, CA);
  • *
  • her blog (which attracts tens of thousands of writers) at http://WritingCoachTeresa.com helps writers build their platforms before and after publication

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and a proud member of:

  • California Writers Club (3 branches! And a past president of the San Francisco Peninsula Branch); and a recipient of the Jack London Award for outstanding service to California Writers Club;
  • *
  • Women’s National Book Association-San Francisco Chapter (a past board member).

 

**

Marlene Cullen has been featured in Community Profile more than once.  How befitting!  Marlene Cullen’s name is synonymous with “community,”  ”writers,” and “literary voice.”

Petaluma, CA  Argus-Courier Thursday July 18, 2013

Community Profile:  Marlene Cullen – Painting Pictures with Words

Lynn Schnitzer says: “Marlene Cullen is passionate about writing and helping other writers find their literary voice.”

Marlene says:  ”My favorite authors are:

Jacqueline Winspear

Rachael Herron

Elizabeth Berg

Sue Monk Kidd

John Dunning

Teresa LeYung Ryan

Jeannette Walls

Sheldon Siegel

Lolly Winston

Liza Gyllenhaal

Zoe Fitzgerald Carter

Anne Rivers Siddons

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Frances Lefkowitz

Gillian Flynn.”

Visit Marlene’s site:  http://www.thewritespot.us/ where she says:

“Thank you to the 2013 Writers Forum presenters. You are awesome: Frances Lefkowitz, Patricia V. Davis, Amanda McTigue, Jennifer Gennari, Andy Ross, Anne Jordan, Constance Hale, Melanie Thorne.”

Check out Marlene’s new blog:   http://thewritespot.us/marlenecullenblog/

I celebrate Marlene Cullen, Writers Forum of Petaluma, and everyone she cares about!

Sincerely,

Writing Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan

Coach Teresa says: “Wear the dual hats of writer and promoter. Reach out, not stress out.”

author of:

Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW (the workbook)

Love Made of Heart (the mother-daughter novel used in college composition classes; book is archived at the San Francisco History Center)

Answer Me Now  (the award-winning short play)

and speeches advocating mental health and end violence against women and children

Click here for a list of Coach Teresa’s event.

http://writingcoachTeresa.com

 

 

According to the Chase’s Calender of Events, September is “Be Kind To Editors and Writers Month.”

Use Chase’s Calendar of Events to connect celebrated dates with your name and your themes and issues — for broadcasters, journalists, event planners, public relations professionals, librarians, editors, writers, or simply the curious.

McGraw-Hill publishes the 752-page book  with CD-ROM.  The abbreviated list of  Events/Special Months is at McGraw Hill Professional

Writing Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan Celebrates “Be Kind To Editors and Writers Month”

 

Sincerely,

Writing Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan

Coach Teresa says: “Wear the dual hats of writer and promoter. Reach out, not stress out.”

author of:

Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW (the workbook)

Love Made of Heart (the mother-daughter novel used in college composition classes; book is archived at the San Francisco History Center)

Answer Me Now  (the award-winning short play)

and speeches advocating mental health and end violence against women and children

Click here for a list of Coach Teresa’s event.

http://writingcoachTeresa.com

 

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan here to introduce you to a colleague (Mary E. Knippel) who also wears 3 hats:

Your-Writing-Mentor Mary E. Knippel is also the author of The Secret Artist: Give Yourself Permission to Let Your Creativity Shine, is also The Unleashed Homemaker !

 

The UnleashedHomemakertm says: “Please join us for our upcoming events in 2012…

June 11, 18, 25, and July 2 [Webinar Series – $47 Sping into Summer Special Rate!] Unleash Your Creative Brilliance, (Monday mornings at 11:30 a.m. BONUS live event June 29 TBA.)
June 12 – [Speaker] Living Your Legacy and Sharing Your Story - Pink Passport Society, 5:30 p.m. Jack London Square
June 13 – [Workshop - Free Event] Coaxing Creativity Workshop, Literary Stage San Mateo County Fair, 2 – 4 p.m. San Mateo Event Center (ask me about free tickets!)
June 16 – [Speaker - Free Event] Summer Fun in 2012 - The Connection between Productivity and Creativity – Empowering Women’s Event, 10 a.m.- 4 p.m. Concord. Day of insight and information with four dynamic speakers, lunch and complimentary parking included, goodies, door prizes, and great networking. Please e-mail me your RSVP for this amazing day!

Sincerely,

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan

Editor, Story Consultant, Platform-Building Coach

http://writingcoachteresa.com

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan has helped over 1,000 writers.

“Reach out, not stress out, to materialize your dearest dreams.”

Writing Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan asks: “If your protagonist doesn’t want anything, then what is the story?”

2012 May 13

Happy Mother’s Day to mother-archetypes all over the world! To honor my MaMa today, I’m watching the movie Garbo Talks (written by Larry Grusin; directed by Sidney Lumit; music by Cy Coleman)  about a son who takes action to get the one thing his dying mother really wants–to meet the movie star.

One of my favorite scenes in this movie is the conversation (at the beach) between Gilbert Rolfe (the son, portrayed by Ron Silver) and the gay man/kind stranger Bernie Whitlock (portrayed by Harvey Fierstein).  The dialogue shows not only what Gilbert wants but also what Bernie wants.  What Gilbert wants is specific; what Bernie wants is universal.

A photographer who has spied on Garbo before tells Gilbert “. . . she’ll disappear if she sees you . . . ”

When Gilbert finally finds the movie star (after 3 months of doing), he knows that he must make every word count to hook her attention before she runs away.

Then, the monologue by the mom (Estelle Rolfe, portrayed by Anne Bancroft) in the hospital bed as she speaks to Garbo . . . oh my goodness.

Lines are beautifully written, directed, delivered, and edited.  What a story! And the music! I will study the script again.

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Speaking of what a protagonist wants, mothers, meetings, monologues . . . I’ve written a 10-minute play (Answer Me Now–a monologue) about a middle-aged woman asking her dead mom a question.

My play and eight colleagues’ plays will be performed on June 29, 30 and July 1st, 2012 at the Redwood Writers & 6th Street Playhouse Play Festival in Santa Rosa, CA.   I’d love to see my friends there.  Click here for more information. Please email me too and let me know which show you’ll be attending.  I’m at    gmail.com  My ID is:   WritingCoachTeresa .

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Writers, go through your manuscript and look for the “want” on every page. Who wants what in this scene, in this conversation, or passage? How does each character go after (or not) what she/he wants?

Click here for my webpage to get guidelines and editing advice.

Sincerely,

Coach Teresa

Editor, Story Consultant, Platform-Building Coach

http://writingcoachteresa.com

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan has helped over 1,000 writers.

“Reach out, not stress out, to materialize your dearest dreams.”

 

2012 March 24 in San Francisco “Meet and Speed Date with Agents, Acquisition Editors, and Publisher”

signature event of  Women’s National Book Association–SF Chapter

Meg Waite Clayton–keynoter at luncheon (optional)

More info and registration: http://wnba-sfchapter.org

Lynn Henriksen chairs event

Teresa LeYung-Ryan, Mary E. Knippel, Tanya Egan Gibson will coach registrants on how to pitch 8:00-9:00am.

 

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WNBA colleague Ann Steiner, Ph.D.MFT, CGP (author of Starting and Sustaining Groups that Thrive: Workbook and Planning Guide) highly recommends Dr. Paul Watsky’s workshop March 23-25, 2012.  Dr. Steiner says:

Dear fellow writers, artists and creatives,

Would you like a weekend devoted to exploring the challenges and rewards of practicing your creative art?

This workshop provides a safe place to deal with such common emotional obstacles as identity, follow-through, isolation, motivation, negative self-talk, and rejection.

This weekend workshop is offered by the Jungian analyst and San Francisco poet, Dr. Paul Watsky. Please forward this announcement to interested colleagues and contact Dr. Watsky directly if you have any questions.

When: Friday evening, March 23rd – 25th

Where: Inverness, CA

Workshop Size: Limited to Twelve Participants

About the Workshop Leader

Paul Watsky, Ph.D., ABPP is a licensed clinical psychologist with over thirty years’ experience in his field, an analyst member of the CG Jung Institute of San Francisco, and a widely published poet, whose debut collection, Telling The Difference (Fisher King Press) was published in 2010. Before becoming a psychologist he taught English literature full time as an Assistant Professor at San Francisco State University, and has continued to teach and lecture through the public programs of the CG Jung Institute and various other organizations.

For Information and Registration please call: 415 346-0253

 

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Speaking of creative art . . .  Mary E. Knippel’s book The Secret Artist – Give Yourself Permission to Let Your Creativity Shine is scheduled to debut by late Spring 2012!

 

Sincerely,

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan

“Reach out, not stress out, to materialize your dearest dreams!”

http://writingcoachteresa.com

Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW

As editor/story consultant, Coach Teresa helps her clients polish their manuscripts by identifying their themes, universal archetypes, front-story and back-story.  http://writingcoachteresa.com

Her novel Love Made of Heart is used in college composition classes. Thank you, Teachers & Students!

Author / Story Consultant / Writers' Platform-Building Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan -- photo by Cyberspace Guru Linda Lee

 

Two fabulous classes (writing & researching) this weekend at Book Passage, Corte Madera store

51 Tamal Vista Blvd., Corte Madera, California  94925

Saturday Oct. 8, 2011,  2:15-5:15pm

Lynn Henriksen – Keep Spirits Alive: Write the Mother Memoir $65

Henriksen demystifies the writing process—making it doable. You’ll find keys to unlock memories and learn to create short, telling tales with energy and honesty. Through exercises, sharing, and feedback you’ll merge imagination, intuition, and truth with all your senses.

If you miss this class, visit Lynn Henriksen’s blog http://telltalesouls.com/blog/

 

Sunday Oct. 9, 2011, 1:00-2:30pm

Geri Spieler – Super Sleuthing $40
Journalist and investigative reporter Geri Spieler explains Internet research techniques that writers need to know. Learn 11 unique “search engine strings” that go way beyond the typical Google search and cut your research time in half. Discover free over-research tools that include directories, databases, graphics, periodicals, government documents, and references. Spieler is the author of the award-winning Taking Aim At The President: The Remarkable Story Of The Woman Who Shot At Gerald Ford.

If you miss this class, visit Geri Spieler’s site http://www.gerispieler.com/

 

Coach Teresa here, cheering for Lynn, Geri, and all writers and readers!

Teresa LeYung-Ryan

“Reach out, not stress out, when pursuing your dreams.”

http://writingcoachteresa.com

Also, Teresa is the author of Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW (ebook Kindle edition $9.81 print edition $22)

 

Congratulations to the Writers Who Entered The Immigrant Experience Writing Contest

DIVISION 342 – THE IMMIGRANT EXPERIENCE: NOVEL, MEMOIR, OR SHORT STORY
Sponsored by Teresa LeYung Ryan, author of  Love Made of Heart http://lovemadeofheart.com

First place winner:  “My Chinese American Experience” by Patricia Tsang

Second place winner: “Dancing Among the Tombstones” by Ellen Six

Third place winner: “Culture Shock” by Lucy Murray

Honorable Mention: “Message Deleted” by Evie Groch

Honorable Mention: “Caught in the Current” by Uldis Zebergs

Honorable Mention: “The Luck of the Irish” by Martha Traynor

 

author Teresa LeYung Ryan writes fiction to help mothers and daughters and prescriptive nonfiction to help writers

Dear Bardi Rosman Koodrin, Sue Barizon, Elliotte Mao,

Bardi had invited me to attend the award ceremony on June 11, 2011 (San Mateo County Fair Literary Arts writing contests). I had wanted so much to be there, to thank everyone in the SMCF offices and the writers who entered the contest I sponsored  – “The Immigrant Experience”

A previous commitment prevents me from being there with you on June 11th.

Could you  3 wonderful hearts Bardi, Elliotte, Sue (Sue, I read what you said about Bardi in The Patch) please print the attachment and bring it to the June 11 ceremony and one of you read it for me?

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Greetings from author and writing career coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan , the sponsor of The Immigrant Experience Writing Contest. . .  I wish I were with you today.  I’m visiting my friend Patty in the hospital who is another hero like Bardi.  I thank Bardi, and everyone who helped her, for orchestrating the many wonderful writing contests. I thank all the writers who submitted entries to The Immigrant Experience category.  The manuscripts I read touched me deeply.  A second judge, Mary Knippel, and I discussed the merits of each piece. Thank you, Mary.

I extend this offer to all the contestants:  If  you email me at WritingCoachTeresa…I’m at gmail.comI will give you some pointers to polish your piece.  And, I’d love to meet you.  Please go to my website: WritingCoachTeresa.com and look at my Events Page.  On Friday June 17 I’ll be at San Mateo County Fair with my California Writers Club buddies.  I hope to meet you all in person, on facebook,  or through my blog at WritingCoachTeresa.com where you’ll find lots of resources, including links to my Youtube channel and to Amazon for my 22-day workbook, to help you build your writer’s platform to attract agents and publishers.  Remember me as Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan who says: “Reach out, not stress out, when building your writing career. Stay connected with members of California Writers Club!”

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San Mateo County Fair. Go to Expo Hall, the Literary Arts Stage, San Mateo Event Center, 2495 So. Delaware St., San Mateo, CA

Events at the Literary Arts Stage are free, but there is admission and parking costs to enter the fairgrounds.

 

Writers of Fiction and Narrative Nonfiction,

I gave this assignment to a hardworking client who had trouble describing what his protagonist wants.

“Do I Know What My Protagonist Wants?”

The assignment was to watch three movies and write a one-paragraph description on each.  My client had chosen movies I hadn’t seen (which made the assignment a perfect exercise)–his summaries/teasers had to “sell” (make me want to see the movies).

Below each summary written by my client are my comments/suggestions.

D,

I am so proud of you.

Your summary of Black Swan is the way to write a pitch / a book jacket / and what I’d call “author’s story-track for self.”  Bravo!

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest: Hacker Lisbeth Salander has been hospitalized as a child for trying to kill her abusive father, Victor. Ultimately, she kills him and stands trial for murder in Sweden. Her protector and advocate is investigation journalist Michael Blomquist, who runs down a string of corrupt government employees and criminals who have created and allowed a string of child prostitution and sex trafficking rings. Salander is acquitted because of her intrepid physical and hacker skills and moves on to help jail those guilty for the sex crimes.

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest: Hacker (replace “Hacker” with “Friendless” or an adjective that signals her emotional-state) Lisbeth Salander has? or had? been hospitalized as a child for trying (replace “trying” with “attempt-to-kill” her father. Ultimately (“ultimately” is vague; also need transition–how many weeks, months or years later; what inciting-incident compelled her to “not fail” in her attempt this time), she kills him and stands trial for murder in Sweden. Her one? protector and advocate is investigation journalist Michael Blomquist, who runs down a string of corrupt government employees and criminals who have created (delete: and allowed a string of)  an empire of child prostitution and sex trafficking (delete: rings). Salander is acquitted because of her intrepid physical and hacker skills (doesn’t make sense–she’s acquitted because of her skills? what’s her journey in prison?) and moves on to help jail those guilty for the sex crimes (would be even more compelling to add what she does for victims).

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Black Swan: Ballerina Nina wants to be chosen as the greatest ballerina in New York most prestigious company, but is driven to perfection and to not only fulfill the role of the pure, virginal white swan but also the sensual, critical black swan while trying to please her obsessive stage mother and sexual predator director. When the director challenges Nina to lose control to play the Black Swan with the same ease as her rival, Nina’s self-destructive impulses take over with devastating consequences.

Black Swan: Ballerina Nina Sayers wants to be chosen as the (delete: greatest) principal dancer (delete: ballerina) in New York’s most prestigious company. She is driven by her stage-mother’s demand for perfection and the sexual-predator director’s bait to choose her over her rival . The message: “Not only fulfill the role of the sensual, (delete: pure), virginal white swan but also the  (what’s the opposite of virginal?) delete: critical _________” leads to Nina’s letting her self-destructive impulses take over with devastating consequences.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The Social Network: Mark  Zuckerberg is obsessed with being invited to the right finals club at Harvard, but since he is Jewish and a nerd he has no chance. The hacker genius piggybacks off the ideas of two other Harvard students to build Facebook as a way to meet and critique girls, and is sued by them and his best friend. Ultimately he realizes that people are addicted to the darker and lighter motives of his site and moves to Silicon Valley to build the greatest social network device ever.

The Social Network: Mark  Zuckerberg is obsessed with being invited to the right finals club at Harvard, but since he is a nerd and because he’s Jewish he has no chance. The hacker genius piggybacks off the ideas of two other Harvard students to build Facebook as a way to meet and critique girls, and is sued by them and his best friend. Ultimately (the word “ultimately” doesn’t replace the transitional-sentence to show what he does during the journey of being sued) he realizes that people are addicted to the darker and lighter motives of his site and moves to Silicon Valley to build the greatest social network device ever.

You used the word “ultimately” in the first and third summaries instead of using words to show what the Hero wants or his/her obstacles along the journey.  Your write-up of Black Swan is best because you tell us who the protagonist is, what she wants, who/what the antagonists are, and the hook–she’s an active main character. You used action-verbs.

Starting today, I’m going to be a tougher coach. You’ve proven to me that you can write dramatic sentences/summaries. I want a new summary (one paragraph) of your novel by tomorrow. Write it the way you wrote Black Swan‘s summary.

Also, I suggest your changing the working-title of your novel. Often a new working-title gives new energy to the writing.

Cheers!

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan


Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW Available through Amazon.com   Check out the reviews!   Coach Teresa created the fun workbook to help fiction and nonfiction authors gain a competitive edge.  Whether you want to be your own publisher or sell rights to another publisher, attract readers and more readers now!   After you order Coach Teresa’s workbook, email her to receive an exclusive bonus on platform-building. Teresa’s email address is on her website WritingCoachTeresa.com

Need a model that demonstrates page-turning techniques? Order/click here:  Love Made of Heart through Kensington Publishing Corp. New York.  Reviews on Teresa’s book on Amazon.com  After you read Love Made of Heart, email Teresa and she’ll send you her “page-turning secrets.”  The document is only useful if you’ve read the book and can refer to pages. Coach Teresa’s email address is on her website WritingCoachTeresa.com

What does protagonist Ruby Lin want?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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