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Posts Tagged ‘misplaced modifiers’

Coach Teresa, what happened on Feb. 16, 2012 at San Francisco Writers Conference?

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan here . . . this is what happened from my point of view. Tell me and my colleagues your point of view by submitting comments to this blog post.  How? Click on the blue title bar of this post, scroll down to get the boxes, fill in boxes and click on “submit comment” button.

I took BART into The City and then MUNI #1 to meet co-presenter & colleague Mary E. Knippel.  At 6:00pm we were to deliver BE YOUR OWN EDITOR at the San Francisco Writers Conference at the Mark Hopkins Hotel at top of Nob Hill.

Authentic details for writers who want to get to the top of Nob Hill: If you off-board BART at Embarcadero station, come up to street level that is closest to Drumm Street. Walk northward on Drumm, then westward on Sacramento Street (a one-way street). At Sacramento St. (near Davis St.), you’d catch the MUNI #1 bus that travels westward on Sacramento Street. $2 fare (driver gives  y0u a transfer that’s good for 4 hours).

The ride is about 10 blocks or .7 mile (through Financial District and Chinatown, and up the hills).  If you’re concerned about not knowing how to push the bell or pull the cord to request your stop, ask the bus driver or fellow passengers to look out for you. Off-board at Mason; walk a block southward on Mason to get to California St. (California St. is parallel to Sacramento St.).  Wait for signals to cross the street.  There you are–at the International Mark Hopkins.

As soon as you step onto the bricked courtyard, courteous hotel employees will greet you.

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Linda Lee and Jane Glendinning among the first to arrive to help make SFWC THE writers conference

Story Consultant and Writers' Platform-Building Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan happy to present at SFWC again

presenters Mary E Knippel & Linda Lee solve mystery over their luggage at Mark Hopkins

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I saw Laurie McLean, Barbara Santos & Richard Santos, Nina Amir, Neal Sofman, dear mentors Michael Larsen & Elizabeth Pomada, Stephanie Chandler and other colleagues.  Our session was to begin at 6:00pm.  Among the writers who attended our session “Be Your Own Editor” were memoirist Jing Li,  journalist and novelist Don Hudson and Margie Yee Webb (author of Cat Mulan’s Mindful Musings)!

Thank you, Patrick, for setting up the microphone–the room was long–without the microphone, the writers sitting in the back would have had difficulty hearing us.

Thank you to each writer in the room!  Here’s an offer to you if you were in our session on Feb. 16, 2012 –  I’ll be happy to read and give feedback to the first 2 pages (double spaced; pages numbered; manuscript title and your full name in the header) of your manuscript.  Email me: your full name; your project’s genre; list of your themes.  Then I’ll let you know when would be the best time to email me your first 2 pages. I’ll arrange my schedule so that I can focus on one writer a day.  My email address is at gmail.com  My User Name is:  WritingCoachTeresa

Session hand-out for Mary E. Knippel & Teresa LeYung-Ryan’s presentation BE YOUR OWN EDITOR

Mary E. Knippel & Teresa LeYung-Ryan
Being Your Own Editor
Ensure Your Manuscript 100% Ready For the Next Step
•    hire a book doctor/developmental editor OR
•     pitch to agents or acquisition editors OR
•     be  your own publisher

fiction / narrative nonfiction / prescriptive nonfiction (“how-to” books)

YOUR NAME: ______________________________ Your Project: ________________________________

Tool #1   Grounding Reader with the three Ws (Who? When? Where?)
Tool #2   Hooking Reader from first page to last with core theme and “What does Protagonist want?” (in prescriptive nonfiction “What does Reader need?”)
Tool #3     In Fiction & Narrative Nonfiction (both genres are forms of  “story-telling”) Who are your protagonist, antagonist, and other archetypes?
Tool #4    In Fiction & Narrative Nonfiction (front story / back story)
Tool #5    Foreshadows  Metaphors   Recurring Images
Tool #6    Authentic Details
Tool #7   Monologue   Dialogue   Vernacular
Tool #8   Misspelled words; misplaced modifiers; other frights

and 15 minutes for Questions & Answers

Thank you, dear mentors Michael Larsen & Elizabeth Pomada, for inviting Mary and me to deliver our signature presentation “Be Your Own Editor”!

Thank you, dear Birgit Soyka author of To Drink the Wild Air, for bringing your camera tripod!

Thank you, dear Margie Yee Webb, author of Cat Mulan’s Mindful Musings: Insight and Inspiration for a Wonderful Life, for introducing Mary and me, for taking photos, for having written the purr-fect gift book and letting me show in our session how every page of a prescriptive nonfiction book ought to contain inspiration, wisdom or a metaphor.

Thank you, Camille Thompson, columnist at SanRamonPatch.com, for your gracious help, making our session an enjoyable one.

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authors & story consultants Mary E. Knippel & Teresa LeYung-Ryan use classics to draw examples for BE YOUR OWN EDITOR at SFWC--photo by author Margie Yee Webb

authors & story consultants Mary E. Knippel & Teresa LeYung-Ryan give 8 tools at BE YOUR OWN EDITOR packed house session SFWC–photo by author Margie Yee Webb

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authors & story consultants Mary E Knippel & Teresa LeYung-Ryan attract writers at BE YOUR OWN EDITOR packed house session SFWC-photo by author Margie Yee Webb

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testimonials from Mary E Knippel & Teresa LeYung-Ryan's BE YOUR OWN EDITOR session

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Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan says: "Wearing your 2 hats as a writer---to polish your manuscript and to build your platform---can be as fun as riding a San Francisco cable car."

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Across the street at the Fairmont Hotel –  LEARNING & the BRAIN Conference–Connecting Educators to Neuroscientists and Researchers

Vehicular traffic was blocked off in the area because President Obama was to speak at the Masonic Auditorium that evening!

Coach Teresa here took the cable car to go home and pack for Day II of San Francisco Writers Conference.  Please see next post.

Sincerely

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan

“Reach out, not stress out, to materialize your dearest dreams!”

http://writingcoachteresa.com
author of Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW

As editor/story consultant, Coach Teresa helps her clients polish their manuscripts by identifying themes and archetypes.

Her novel Love Made of Heart is used in college composition classes. Thank you, Teachers & Students!

“Coach Teresa, what should I do before hiring an editor?”

Look at Your Manuscript with an Editor’s Lens

By Teresa LeYung Ryan

Writing Career Coach; Manuscript Consultant; Author

Since writing a story with the intent to engage the reader is so much like meeting a stranger and wanting him/her to be interested in you, you’d want to hook the reader’s attention in the first quarter of your story (starting with the first page, oftentimes with the first line).

I love working with diligent writers who want to transform their manuscripts into page-turners. However, there are things you can do before you give your work to an editor. Let me show you how you can help yourself.

The big four elements to look for in your manuscript:

• Planting hook(s) or story-question(s);
• Grounding the reader with the three Ws (Who? When? Where?);
• Showing (not telling) what the protagonist wants;
• Paying attention to language and rules

Let’s learn from the pros.

Planting Hook or Story-Question:

In The Woman Warrior: Memoirs of a Girlhood Among Ghosts, Maxine Hong Kingston hooks us with the first line: “You must not tell anyone,” my mother said, “what I am about to tell you…” Then, Ms. Kingston transitions into her story with: “Whenever she had to warn us about life, my mother told stories that ran like this one . . .”

Grounding the Reader with the Three Ws:

In Woven of Water, while the story timeline spans from 1957 to 2005, Californian author Luisa Adams brilliantly shows us who she was as a girl (not with a year-by-year narrative, but with a single exquisite chapter). Because she grounded us with “who, when, where,” we eagerly follow as she (the middle-aged woman) takes us into her enchanted world of a “cottage in the forest.”

Showing What the Protagonist Wants:

In The Other Mother, young Carol Schaefer wants to ask questions: “Was there any way to keep my baby? Was there anyone who would help me find a way to do that?”

Elizabeth Gilbert hooks us with “I wish Giovanni would kiss me…” in her memoir Eat, Pray, Love. Simple as that.  She’ll have other desires as her story moves forward, but, right there on page 1, she’s clear about what she wants.

In Love Made of Heart, protagonist Ruby Lin is thinking: What have I done?  I watch the uniformed police officers escort my mother from my apartment.

Paying Attention to Language and Rules:

Read the first five pages of Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt and you will see how this wordsmith plays with language and rules. (You can “bend” the rules to create flow, but you must not ignore the rules.)

Are you saying: “Coach Teresa, that’s my style–I don’t like to use commas all that much. You might see typos but that’s your job right to correct them? I write like I talk. Okay.”

I say: “Read your manuscript out loud.  Do you really talk like that?  If you hear yourself pausing in a sentence, that’s probably where you’d put a comma. You are a writer; use correct spelling.  Do use vernacular that is indicative of your story-world; however, will your reader hear the differences in speech patterns in your characters OR will they hear just one voice in all the characters?”

Sentences Deserve Your Attention:

Remember Groucho Marx’s line “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas…”? That sentence got a lot of laughs. But, what if you didn’t want to be funny (ambiguous in this case)? Watch out for those misplaced modifiers.

How would you rewrite these poorly constructed sentences?

• He likes to fish near the Farallon Islands and they jump when they’re hungry at dawn or dusk.
• She insists on knowing when I come home and leave, not to be nosy, but for safety reasons.
• Being cautious as not to step on the dog’s tail, the children tip-toed away from him while sleeping.
• My husband still in bed snoring, I have always enjoyed rising before dawn and I eat my toast and drink my green tea on the terrace.

To improve your sentence structuring and other skills, I recommend these books:

• The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White
• Woe is I: Grammarphobe’s Guide to Better English in Plain English by Patricia T. O’Conner

More Advice:

• In all the stories referenced above, the authors present memorable experiences by employing authentic details, unusual story-worlds, and poetic language. You want to do the same for your story.
• Also, the stories have another vital component–all the plotlines have what Martha Alderson, author of Blockbuster Plots, Pure and Simple, calls “Cause and Effect” linked scenes. Another must-read blog: Plot Whisperer
• When you’re writing non-fiction and do not have the luxury of rearranging the sequence of events to create a page-turning plotline, you can engage the reader by using concise expositions to leap over blocks of time in order to focus on the core themes and fast-forward the story. A helpful website: Linda Joy Myer’s http://www.memoriesandmemoirs.com
• You the author must show the reader what the protagonist wants, even if the protagonist doesn’t know at first.
• We don’t have to “like” a protagonist, but, we do need to connect with him/her on an emotional level.
• Read my colleague Vicki Weiland’s “Vicki’s Four Questions” © on her blog: http://vickiweiland.wordpress.com/vickis-four-questions-%C2%A9/

In the fiercely competitive arena of the publishing world, how does one stand out in a crowd? Building relationships is one key to success in this business. Another key is to know how to translate the themes from your life to your writing and articulate those themes as community concerns. I want to see all hardworking writers realize their dreams.

My best wishes to you!

Sincerely,

Teresa LeYung Ryan

Coach Teresa edits manuscripts for authors who want to attract agents  & publishers  OR  want to be their own publishers. She specializes in contemporary novels, thrillers, children’s & YA novels, memoirs, short stories, and anthologies.

22-Day Platform-Building Coach Teresa LeYung Ryan helps authors identify their themes to hook agents' and publishers' attention.

author of Love Made of  Heart

author of Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days

To comment on any of my columns (blog posts) or to contact me, just click on the blue title bar of the post, fill in the boxes and press “submit.”

What to do before hiring an editor for your manuscript?

My advice for narrative non-fiction writers is the same for fiction writers.

“Look at Your Manuscript with an Editor’s Lens”

by Teresa LeYung Ryan–Developmental Editor/Manuscript Consultant/Writing Career Coach

Since writing a story with the intent to engage the reader is so much like meeting a stranger and wanting him/her to be interested in us, I will focus on “how to make the first quarter of your story a compelling read.”

I love working with diligent writers who want to transform their manuscripts into page-turners. However, there are things you can do before you give your work to an editor. Let me show you how you can help yourself.

Does your manuscript pass these tests?

• Planting hook(s) or story-question(s);
• Grounding the reader with the three Ws and the big C (Who?  When?  Where? Circumstances);
• Showing (not telling) what the protagonist wants;
• Paying attention to language and rules

Let’s learn from the pros.

Planting Hook or Story-Question:

In The Woman Warrior: Memoirs of a Girlhood Among Ghosts, Maxine Hong Kingston hooks us with the first line: “You must not tell anyone,” my mother said, “what I am about to tell you…”   Then, Ms. Kingston transitions into her story with:  “Whenever she had to warn us about life, my mother told stories that ran like this one . . .”

Grounding the Reader with the Three Ws and the big C:

In Woven of Water, while the story timeline spans from 1957 to 2005, Californian author Luisa Adams brilliantly shows us who she was as a girl (not with a year-by-year narrative, but with a single exquisite chapter).  Because she grounded us with “who, when, where” and the “circumstances” as to why she had left her love affair with water, we eagerly follow as she takes us into her enchanted world of a “cottage in the forest.”  Another device to ground the reader is the employment of sensory details (not long descriptions).  Sensory details put the reader in the scene/story world.  Re-read one of your favorite author’s books. Study from the masters.

Showing What the Protagonist Wants:

In The Other Mother, young Carol Schaefer wants to ask questions:  “Was there any way to keep my baby?  Was there anyone who would help me find a way to do that?”

In Eat, Pray, Love, Elisabeth Gilbert says: I wish Giovanni would kiss me.

In Love Made of Heart, my protagonist Ruby Lin prays: Please don’t end up like Grandmother (while witnessing police officers escorting her own mother out of her apartment).

Paying Attention to Language and Rules:

Read the first five pages of Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt and you will see how this wordsmith plays with language and rules. (You can “bend” the rules to create flow, but you must not ignore them.)

In Bastard Out of Carolina, Dorothy Allison’s protagonist Bone is a girl.  Bone’s voice is convincing in dialogue and in internal monologue. Brilliant use of dialect.

Sentences Deserve Your Attention:

Remember Groucho Marx’s line “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas…”? That sentence got a lot of laughs.  But, what if you didn’t want to be funny (ambiguous in this case)?

How would you rewrite these sentences?  See the misplaced modifiers?

• He likes to fish near the Farallon Islands, they jump when they’re hungry at dawn or dusk. (the islands jump?)
• She insists on knowing when I come home and leave, not to be nosy, but for safety reasons. (who is not nosy?)
• Being cautious as not to step on the dog’s tail, the children tip-toed away from him while sleeping. (who’s sleeping?)

To improve your sentence structure and other skills, I recommend these books:

• The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White
• Woe is I: Grammarphobe’s Guide to Better English in Plain English by Patricia T. O’Conner

More Advice:

• In all the stories I referenced above, the authors present memorable experiences by employing authentic details, unusual story-worlds though real, and poetic language. You want to do the same for your story.
• Also, these stories have another vital component–all the plotlines have what Martha Alderson, author of Blockbuster Plots Pure and Simple, calls “Cause and Effect” linked scenes.  Another must-read blog:  http://plotwhisperer.blogspot.com/search?q=first+quarter
• When you’re writing non-fiction and you do not have the luxury of rearranging the sequence of events to create a page-turning plotline, you can engage the reader by using concise expositions to leap over blocks of time in order to focus on the core themes and fast-forward to the next scene.  A helpful website for memoir writers: http://www.memoriesandmemoirs.com
• You the author must show the reader what the protagonist wants, even if the protagonist doesn’t know at first.
• We don’t have to “like” a protagonist, but, we do need to connect with him/her on an emotional level. Perhaps what he/she wants is also what we want.
• Story-telling is a skill learned, practiced, and mastered. May you practice with joy.

In the fiercely competitive arena of the publishing world, how does one stand out in a crowd?  Building relationships is one key to success in this business. Another key is to know how to translate the themes from your life to your writing and articulate those themes as community concerns.  I want to see all hardworking writers realize their dreams. My best wishes to you!

To read other posts in my blog (about writing contests, publishing opportunities, more tips on platform-building), click on [ Home ] and scroll down  OR key in words in the search box to find specific posts. Example: if you key in the words: poetry anthology 2011 into my blog’s search box and click [search], you will see my post containing info about the  Las Positas College Anthology and other contests for other genres (Thank you, Poet Laureate Deborah Grossman!) To read the entire version of a post, click on the title bar of that post.

To see my website for all my books, go to:  http://writingcoachteresa.com

Reach out, not stress out!

Sincerely,

Build-Your-Writer’s-Platform Coach Teresa

Teresa LeYung Ryan–Developmental Editor/Manuscript Consultant, Writing Career Coach, Author, Publisher

Teresa specializes in editing fiction and narrative non-fiction with themes on the human condition.

She likes spunky protagonists in thrillers, women’s novels, memoirs, and children’s literature.

Love Made of Heart is:
• recommended by the California School Library Association and the California Reading Association

• read by students at Stanford University, U.C. Berkeley, CCSF, and many other colleges and high schools.

• used in Advanced Composition English-as-a-Second-Language classes
• archived at the San Francisco History Center

Teresa says: “The more you read, the more your own writing will flow.”  
Please click here for my blog’s home page  http://lovemadeofheart.com/blog/

My fun workbook is now available through Amazon!

BUILD YOUR WRITER’S PLATFORM & FANBASE IN 22 DAYS: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW

http://www.amazon.com/Build-Your-Writers-Platform-Fanbase/dp/0983010005/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1297630400&sr=1-1

http://lovemadeofheart.com/BUILD-YOUR-WRITER%27S-PLATFORM-&-FANBASE-IN-22-DAYS.html