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Posts Tagged ‘Coach Teresa LeYung Ryan’

My talented client Jodi had a concern about her protagonist’s voice.  Jodi asked: “Young voice has a strong dialect. Does adult outgrow that?”

Coach Teresa, how much vernacular / dialect is appropriate in a manuscript?

Manuscript Consultant/Coach Teresa here . . .
“Letting readers hear each character’s distinctive style of speech is writing with authentic details. Sprinkling (not pouring) vernacular grounds us/helps answer the question ‘where are we?’ You do have to be clever and write dialogue in such a way so that we can decipher what is said.

“Show character “adjusting” dialect or accent when she/he enters a new world (examples:  going to college; moving to another part of the country; or in the case of the pal I just visited… an Australian who worked in California and having to adjust her speech, even though Australians speak English, because her boss complained ‘I can’t understand you.’)  Good tension in story-telling.”

I love helping writers polish their manuscripts by identifying their themes and archetypes and build their platforms and fanbases by making their names synonymous with the themes/subject matters/issues they write about.

Reach out, not stress out, when pursuing your dreams!

Cheers!

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan

Please visit my website http://writingcoachteresa.com

If you wish to email me, I’m writingcoachTeresa at gmail.com

Author of Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW (print edition & eBook edition)
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Author of the novel Love Made of Heart (inspires adult children of mentally ill parents to speak openly about the stigmas and find resources for their families)

In his blog post of October 21, 2011, literary agent/consultant/author Michael Larsen says: “Every word in a nonfiction proposal has to be right. The sample chapter has to be as enjoyable to read as it is informative. The proposal has to generate as much excitement as possible in as few words as possible. But even that may be a small part of the challenge for arousing the interest of agents.”

Michael quotes Jack Canfield and fellow agent Rita Rosenkranz:

Chicken Souperman Jack Canfield says: “A book is like an iceberg: Writing is 10%; marketing is 90%.”

Rita Rosenkranz says: “… publishers aren’t buying promise, they’re buying proof.”

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan here to say: “The same demands from publishers on authors of nonfiction also apply to authors of fiction. Why? Publishing is a business. Why wouldn’t publishers prefer to invest in best-selling authors and celebrity-authors?  These authors have fanbases. Fans buy books. You too have fans–in your circle of loved ones and friends. The secret is to build your fanbase and fortify it with a platform.  WHAT is a platform? Making your name stand for something—to attract targeted consumers who are likely to buy what you have to sell. What are you selling?  Your literary work.”

You can sneak preview the 2 exercises for Day 1 from my workbook, Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days, by clicking on this link:

http://www.amazon.com/Build-Writers-Platform-Fanbase-ebook/dp/B005J9ZEIA/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2#reader_B005J9ZEIA

Sincerely,

Coach Teresa

Teresa LeYung-Ryan says: “Reach out, not stress out, when pursuing your dreams!”

Writing Career Coach/Manuscript Consultant

Author of Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW (print edition & eBook edition)
Author of the novel Love Made of Heart (inspires adult children of mentally ill parents to speak openly about the stigmas and find resources for their families)

Writers of Fiction and Narrative Nonfiction,

I gave this assignment to a hardworking client who had trouble describing what his protagonist wants.

“Do I Know What My Protagonist Wants?”

The assignment was to watch three movies and write a one-paragraph description on each.  My client had chosen movies I hadn’t seen (which made the assignment a perfect exercise)–his summaries/teasers had to “sell” (make me want to see the movies).

Below each summary written by my client are my comments/suggestions.

D,

I am so proud of you.

Your summary of Black Swan is the way to write a pitch / a book jacket / and what I’d call “author’s story-track for self.”  Bravo!

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest: Hacker Lisbeth Salander has been hospitalized as a child for trying to kill her abusive father, Victor. Ultimately, she kills him and stands trial for murder in Sweden. Her protector and advocate is investigation journalist Michael Blomquist, who runs down a string of corrupt government employees and criminals who have created and allowed a string of child prostitution and sex trafficking rings. Salander is acquitted because of her intrepid physical and hacker skills and moves on to help jail those guilty for the sex crimes.

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest: Hacker (replace “Hacker” with “Friendless” or an adjective that signals her emotional-state) Lisbeth Salander has? or had? been hospitalized as a child for trying (replace “trying” with “attempt-to-kill” her father. Ultimately (“ultimately” is vague; also need transition–how many weeks, months or years later; what inciting-incident compelled her to “not fail” in her attempt this time), she kills him and stands trial for murder in Sweden. Her one? protector and advocate is investigation journalist Michael Blomquist, who runs down a string of corrupt government employees and criminals who have created (delete: and allowed a string of)  an empire of child prostitution and sex trafficking (delete: rings). Salander is acquitted because of her intrepid physical and hacker skills (doesn’t make sense–she’s acquitted because of her skills? what’s her journey in prison?) and moves on to help jail those guilty for the sex crimes (would be even more compelling to add what she does for victims).

* * * * * * * * * * *

Black Swan: Ballerina Nina wants to be chosen as the greatest ballerina in New York most prestigious company, but is driven to perfection and to not only fulfill the role of the pure, virginal white swan but also the sensual, critical black swan while trying to please her obsessive stage mother and sexual predator director. When the director challenges Nina to lose control to play the Black Swan with the same ease as her rival, Nina’s self-destructive impulses take over with devastating consequences.

Black Swan: Ballerina Nina Sayers wants to be chosen as the (delete: greatest) principal dancer (delete: ballerina) in New York’s most prestigious company. She is driven by her stage-mother’s demand for perfection and the sexual-predator director’s bait to choose her over her rival . The message: “Not only fulfill the role of the sensual, (delete: pure), virginal white swan but also the  (what’s the opposite of virginal?) delete: critical _________” leads to Nina’s letting her self-destructive impulses take over with devastating consequences.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The Social Network: Mark  Zuckerberg is obsessed with being invited to the right finals club at Harvard, but since he is Jewish and a nerd he has no chance. The hacker genius piggybacks off the ideas of two other Harvard students to build Facebook as a way to meet and critique girls, and is sued by them and his best friend. Ultimately he realizes that people are addicted to the darker and lighter motives of his site and moves to Silicon Valley to build the greatest social network device ever.

The Social Network: Mark  Zuckerberg is obsessed with being invited to the right finals club at Harvard, but since he is a nerd and because he’s Jewish he has no chance. The hacker genius piggybacks off the ideas of two other Harvard students to build Facebook as a way to meet and critique girls, and is sued by them and his best friend. Ultimately (the word “ultimately” doesn’t replace the transitional-sentence to show what he does during the journey of being sued) he realizes that people are addicted to the darker and lighter motives of his site and moves to Silicon Valley to build the greatest social network device ever.

You used the word “ultimately” in the first and third summaries instead of using words to show what the Hero wants or his/her obstacles along the journey.  Your write-up of Black Swan is best because you tell us who the protagonist is, what she wants, who/what the antagonists are, and the hook–she’s an active main character. You used action-verbs.

Starting today, I’m going to be a tougher coach. You’ve proven to me that you can write dramatic sentences/summaries. I want a new summary (one paragraph) of your novel by tomorrow. Write it the way you wrote Black Swan‘s summary.

Also, I suggest your changing the working-title of your novel. Often a new working-title gives new energy to the writing.

Cheers!

Coach Teresa LeYung-Ryan

Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW Available through Amazon.com   Check out the reviews!   Coach Teresa created the fun workbook to help fiction and nonfiction authors gain a competitive edge.  Whether you want to be your own publisher or sell rights to another publisher, attract readers and more readers now!   After you order Coach Teresa’s workbook, email her to receive an exclusive bonus on platform-building. Teresa’s email address is on her website WritingCoachTeresa.com

Need a model that demonstrates page-turning techniques? Order/click here:  Love Made of Heart through Kensington Publishing Corp. New York.  Reviews on Teresa’s book on Amazon.com  After you read Love Made of Heart, email Teresa and she’ll send you her “page-turning secrets.”  The document is only useful if you’ve read the book and can refer to pages. Coach Teresa’s email address is on her website WritingCoachTeresa.com

What does protagonist Ruby Lin want?

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Please click on the title bar of this post to see the comment box so that you can tell me, all my fans and your fans what “tags” you came up with for yourself and your literary works.

Day 5 of 22 – Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days

What tags (keywords and phrases) would help your fans find you and your writings?

Cheers from Coach Teresa LeYung Ryan

Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW

http://writingcoachteresa.com

Coach Teresa’s YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/teresaleyung